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| ESRB "Everyone" rating symbol, displayed on the packaging of computer and video games appropriate for audiences over the age of 6. Part of the ESRB Video Game Rating System. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
First off, sorry to my one reader about the lack of posting
over the weekend. I was too busy being with my girlfriend and having a life
before she heads to a country in the Middle East.
You know why Palestinian terrorists and the Israeli army are so violent and always killing each other? Video games. Before he was a war criminal, I hear Ariel Sharon loved ColecoVision. Rumor has it that Abdel Khaleq Natche, the highest ranking Hamas member held by Israel, was playing DDR when he was captured. Video games are creating terrorists, and they are creating them in our own backyard. Finally, somebody is stepping up and taking a stand against the real menace to society.
Oklahoma, site of the second most catastrophic terrorist attack in the history of the United States, has vowed "never again" by signing into law the bill. Under the new law, it would become a felony to sell, rent or display "inappropriate" video games to minors. The law ignores the already-existing ESRB age-appropriate rating system, and takes it upon itself to judge what counts as inappropriate. What sort of game is a no-no?
You know why Palestinian terrorists and the Israeli army are so violent and always killing each other? Video games. Before he was a war criminal, I hear Ariel Sharon loved ColecoVision. Rumor has it that Abdel Khaleq Natche, the highest ranking Hamas member held by Israel, was playing DDR when he was captured. Video games are creating terrorists, and they are creating them in our own backyard. Finally, somebody is stepping up and taking a stand against the real menace to society.
Oklahoma, site of the second most catastrophic terrorist attack in the history of the United States, has vowed "never again" by signing into law the bill. Under the new law, it would become a felony to sell, rent or display "inappropriate" video games to minors. The law ignores the already-existing ESRB age-appropriate rating system, and takes it upon itself to judge what counts as inappropriate. What sort of game is a no-no?
What are the implications of banning games that fit this
criteria? Let's consider popular video games. Mario? Goodbye. I can't think of
any literary or scientific value there. Though, come to think of it, Dr. Mario
should be okay, as it's medical value got me through advanced biology (pills =
good, germs = bad). Plus, Mario's incredibly violent. Shame on you, Mario. The
blood of the goombas and the koopas is on your hands.
Final Fantasy is gone. Have you seen the size of Cloud's sword? Plus, That Barrett looks like Mr. T, and Mr. T is a shady character who beats people up along with pitying fools. Crash Bandicoot? Don't make me laugh. Spinning into things haphazardly falls into the senseless violence category. Tetris? Those blocks are flying into those other blocks pretty hard. Too violent for my tastes. Plus, one of those peices, when rotated to the right angle, looks like a gun. Oh, the horror!
I, for one, would like to thank Oklahoma. Video games have ruined my life. They have taught me that violence is a laughing matter. I have been entirely desensitized. I was a complete wreck. I spent most of my adolescence just spinning along, collecting rings and rolling into whatever and whoever I pleased. Hopefully this law will catch on, and nobody else will have to live the nightmare I lived.
Final Fantasy is gone. Have you seen the size of Cloud's sword? Plus, That Barrett looks like Mr. T, and Mr. T is a shady character who beats people up along with pitying fools. Crash Bandicoot? Don't make me laugh. Spinning into things haphazardly falls into the senseless violence category. Tetris? Those blocks are flying into those other blocks pretty hard. Too violent for my tastes. Plus, one of those peices, when rotated to the right angle, looks like a gun. Oh, the horror!
I, for one, would like to thank Oklahoma. Video games have ruined my life. They have taught me that violence is a laughing matter. I have been entirely desensitized. I was a complete wreck. I spent most of my adolescence just spinning along, collecting rings and rolling into whatever and whoever I pleased. Hopefully this law will catch on, and nobody else will have to live the nightmare I lived.
